Burger King, Liverpool (Lord Street)
Let me start by saying Burger King was not our first choice of venue for dining that evening. Unfortunately, virtually every other eatery in Liverpool was either packed out with people that night, or it no longer existed. The original choice for the Session was Gourmet Burger Kitchen, which despite its horrendously-expensive menu, does serve a decent burger; and we were in the mood for burger that night. Annoyingly, the Liverpool One GBK had literally shut down just before we arrived, and so, we were forced to eat elsewhere.
Realistically, our only options were the fast-food chains, as pubs in Liverpool either don’t serve proper food, or are generally too busy to be considered suitable for a Session. Burger King on Lord Street had JUST been refurbished, which meant it was much more inviting than the shithole of a McDonald’s across the street. It was therefore the obvious choice to dine that night.
Naturally, I ordered the biggest burger on the menu, the Double Texican Whopper, along with large fries, bottled-water and a Texican Wrap. This meal cost about £10 which is obviously a ridiculous amount of money to pay at a fast-food restaurant. There was a lot of food, though, and when I saw the sheer size of the burger, I was slightly intimidated:
Before I began my meal I felt that I needed a strategy to tackle this titanic of a burger. To give me time to think one up, I proceeded to eat my Texican Wrap. The wrap was tasty enough, but I didn’t think it was brilliant value. At the time, I had no idea what the fuck was in it; I still don’t. It was like someone had thrown a pot of chilli con carne into a deep fat fryer and wrapped up the contents in a tortilla. It wasn’t spicy by any stretch of the imagination, but it could certainly be described tangy. As disgusting as trans-fat chilli sounds, it was, like I said, tasty. I’m not sure I’d necessary order one again, but I certainly wouldn’t say no to a Texican Wrap if I was offered one for half price (when bought with an XL value meal).
Having still not thought up a suitable means of tackling the burger, I decided to eat my fries next. It’s difficult to review fries, as they’re essentially just slithers of second-rate potato covered in fat. Out of the Big Three (McDonald’s, KFC and Burger King), I’d say BK’s fries are probably the tastiest, but also the fattiest, and therefore leave the worst aftertaste. It’s worth noting that the fries I was served were hot and not covered in too much salt, which was actually quite surprising. I’m not a massive fan of fries at the best of times, but these were reasonably tasty, so I can’t complain.
I came to the conclusion that there was no strategy for eating the burger, so squashed it up as best I could, opened wide, and bit into it. That didn’t work, so I decided to remove some of its innards, and eat those separately. The innard I removed was basically what I’d just eaten wrapped up in the tortilla. It was actually tasty enough to eat on its own. By reducing the burger to two beef pâtés, salad, relish and buns, it was now small enough to fit into my mouth, just. It’s worth noting that the fucking about, trying to fit the burger in my mouth, was part of the appeal of ordering such a big item of food. Of course, all of this is irrelevant if the burger tastes like shit. This burger did NOT taste like shit: quite the opposite, in fact. I have to admit, this was probably one of the tastiest burgers I’ve ever eaten. It helps that the meat is flame grilled, and the pâtés are a decent size (unlike the sorry slithers of ‘meat’ served up in McDonald’s). The salad, as the photograph illustrates, was fresh enough not to be covered in brown bits. I was also pleased with the fact that the bun tasted fresh, too. Often in fast-food restaurants the bread that’s served falls apart as if it’s been stored in a freezer for too long. Admittedly, though, there wasn’t enough bread to cover the contents of the burger, which meant for a messy eating experience. The Texican Whooper wasn’t spicy, despite what the advertising campaign claimed. It didn’t matter, though, as I hadn’t gone to Burger King for a spicy meal, just a good burger. And it was a damn good burger.
Whilst the food was good, the same cannot be said for the ambience. With all fast-food restaurants, you’ll have to put up with unhappy work staff showing little in the way of customer service. You can’t blame them for not smiling or saying thank you, though, as they work such a horrendous job. Good customer service does exist in certain fast food restaurants, but it’s rare you’ll receive it in a busy city centre unit. I wasn’t pleased or displeased with the staff’s service on this particular occasion. All you can really ask for at a fast-food restaurant is that your food is cooked properly. At this visit, I’m pleased to say all of my meal was cooked properly.
Unsurprisingly, the atmosphere at this particular Burger King wasn’t great. Firstly, it was spoilt by fucking idiot music being blasted through their sound system. Why can’t people make do with conversation, rather than having JLS or some other mindless set of cunts keeping them company. The mindless music was no doubt a means to entertain their clientele, which consisted of children and degenerates. On one table, a set of chavs were playing with their meals, making far too much noise. Of course, this was preferred to the set of degenerates who were sat opposite staring at us throughout our meal. They were either drugged-up or brain dead… or both. Burger King isn’t cheap, which makes me wonder how the job seeker’s brigade can afford to eat there. It’s also sickening to think that the kids sat in there have received enough pocket money to be able afford BK’s menu. When I was a child, I’d have had to save up my pocket money for 12 months to be able to afford a Burger King meal. Anyway, points will be deducted for Burger King not having a stricter door policy.
To conclude then, our visit to Burger King wasn’t brilliant. The wrap and fries were nothing to write home about, and the general ambience was atrocious. It wasn’t all bad, though. Firstly, the recent re-fit meant we were sat on clean stools, which is obviously unheard of at a fast-food restaurant. Secondly, we didn’t have to wait too long our food. Thirdly, and most importantly, the Double Texican Whopper was fucking amazing. It was a rather expensive choice, but I felt it was well worth the money, and more than made up for all the negative factors we’d experience during our visit. Burger King certainly lived up their reputation of being king when it comes to burgers.
Score: 6/10 (thanks to the superb burger)
RH
In years gone by, RH and I would never have even contemplated going into a fast food restaurant for anything other than a coffee. The accepted logic was that fast food is largely shite, and that for similar money you could get ‘proper’ versions of the same food in a pub. The advantages of the pub being, inter alia, the availability of alcohol and the absence of children.
Over the last few years, however, things have been turned on their head somewhat. Slowly but surely, all of our favoured public-house haunts have either:
1. Been gobbled up by faceless brewery chains serving plastic microwave meals instead of food;
2. Stopped serving any kind of edible goods whatsoever;
3. Been turned into a nursery school;
4. Been turned into a student union; or
5. Disappeared
You’re probably thinking “where have you been getting your burgers?”. It’s a valid question – avid readers amongst you will know that we were forced to cook our own last time, almost burning down my wooden balcony in the process. Of course, the weather’s unsuitable for BBQs at this time of year, and so we’re left with only one option when we need a burger – fast food.
We decided to visit the Burger King on Liverpool’s Lord Street really as a last-resort. We initially tried the Gourmet Burger Kitchen, having enjoyed a damn good burger there last year, however upon arrival the place looked to have been deserted. We soon discovered why – their prices had roughly trebled since our last visit, putting their (admittedly good) burgers beyond the reach of even the most perverted of money-wasters.
Nothing else but a burger would do. It was a toss-up between McDonalds and Burger King. Luckily, the two face each other on opposite sides of the road, so we could afford to walk there and decide on the spot. I’ve long considered Burger King to be vastly superior to McDonalds in almost every respect, but if I needed any more convincing, we spotted that the Burger King on Lord Street appeared to have just opened following an extensive refurbishment. The McDonalds opposite, on the other hand, looked like a homeless shelter. Our decision was made.
We’d missed the dinnertime rush, so we weren’t greeted by what looked like an outtake from The Hills Have Eyes, as you’d expect at a fast food restaurant, and we didn’t have to wait long to be served. Unfortunately, since I’m unfamiliar with the protocol at these establishments, I could have done with a bit more time to think about what I wanted. As it was, I chose the first thing I saw on the menu – the Texican Whopper. It was accompanied by fries, and a side order of onion rings. Coca Cola was the drink of choice.
Since the restaurant was relatively empty, they’d cordoned off most of the seating areas, presumably so the lazy staff wouldn’t have to clean more than a square metre of the restaurant at closing time. Unfortunately, that meant that RH and I were forced to sit in close proximity to a number of freaks. A bunch of morons at one table who appeared to be talking to their food rather than eating it, and some nosey couple at another table who wouldn’t take their eyes off us. I tried to make these observations to RH, only to discover that we couldn’t hear each other due to the obnoxiously loud music. Marks were knocked off instantly for both of these things, although in fairness we fully expected a complete lack of ambience once we took the decision to visit Burger King.
Onto the food. My first impressions of the burger itself were good. It looked more or less like the picture advertised, although I instantly regretted not getting the ‘double’ Texican Whopper (see RH review).
It looked good, but felt inferior when compared with RH’s choice.
Not wanting to dive straight into the main event, I sampled the fries and onion rings first. Fries, by and large, are fries when it comes to fast food. There are subtle differences, and overall Burger King’s are probably marginally better than McDonalds’, and certainly a lot better than what I remember of KFC’s. They feel more substantial and are invariably crispier than McDonalds fries, and this batch was no exception. They were nothing special, but lived up to my expectations.
The onion rings were more of an event than the fries, as you’d expect since you have to order them separately to the burger meal itself. I love a good onion ring, and was pleased to find that those served at Burger King that night were more or less on par with what you’d get at a good pub. McDonalds don’t even offer onion rings so far as I know, so I suppose Burger King is awarded marks for that alone.
The onion rings certainly added to the experience
Having sampled the hors d’oeuvres, it was time to get stuck in to the burger. And boy, was I pleasantly surprised. Rather than the greasy, flimsy, tasteless shit I’d been expecting, what I got was a delicious and robust burger. Although it wasn’t as spicy as I’d been led to expect, it was certainly good. The addition of the kind of deep-fried chilli con carne was a stroke of genius. As a side note, although the burger wasn’t as big as RH’s option, it was easier to manoeuvre and didn’t require taking apart in order to eat. So those points probably counter-balance one another. I thoroughly enjoyed the burger and it was complemented well by the fries, and very well by the onion rings.
The price I paid for the food was reasonable (about £6-ish), but it didn’t fill me up completely. That said, these days probably the only places where you’d spend £6 and expect to be completely full are the chippy or Netto. Whilst Burger King doesn’t exactly represent value for money (being roughly 5 times the price I remember paying for fast food as a youngster), the quality of the burger made up for that. On a return visit I’d probably have to spend more in order to fill myself up, but so long as the other burgers on the menu are as good as the Texican Whopper, I won’t mind.
In summary:
Fixtures and Fittings: 7/10 (recently refurbished, but still a fast food restaurant)
Staff: 5/10 (did their job adequately but were not ‘polite’. Were lazy)
Ambience: 1/10 (music far, far too loud and other patrons disgusting)
Food: 8/10 (very good for fast food, but didn’t get enough for my money)
Overall: 6/10 – good food let down by the other aspects of the dining experience
MS
McDonald’s Rolo McFlurry™
After serving us two truly abysmal McFlurries at the previous Sessions, McDonald’s were on their last strike. I’m still amazed that they had managed to fuck up their Cornetto concoction so badly. But let’s leave that mistake in the past for now and concentrate on the present. Rolo is quite possibly Nestle’s tastiest chocolate treat, so McDonald’s decision to add it to their ice-cream seemed most judicious. On removing the needless plastic lid, the Rolo McFlurry certainly looked impressive:
There are some important details to note here. Firstly, those shells of chocolate are clearly Rolo. I’m sick of McFlurry’s not bearing any resemblance to what’s displayed on their POS. This looked good enough to be photographed for their marketing campaign. Secondly, the brown fluid mixed in with the ice-cream is clearly Rolo caramel. It seems like McDonald’s have just broken up Rolo pieces and mixed them in with their ice-cream. Thankfully, this is what they were supposed to do, so it seems on this occasion McDonald’s have got it right.
It might have looked the part, but did it actually taste any good? Well, I’m pleased to report, the Rolo McFlurry was fucking excellent. It tasted exactly how it looked – like Rolo mixed with ice-cream – which let’s face it, is a mouth-watering combination. I’m not sure it’s the best McFlurry I’ve ever eaten, but for the sake of this website at least, it’s by far the tastiest we’ve consumed in our Sessions so far. Unfortunately, the Rolo McFlurry will miss out on full marks as these promotional products cost more than 99p.
Score: 9/10
RH
The NNR McFlurry™ Leaderboard so far:
1. Rolo
2. Aero
3. Cornetto
No Nonsense Reviews 